In high school, I heard the terms Blue balls and friendzone way too often. Not until I was an adult, did I realize these are utter bull**it excuses! Yet, even women sometimes use these excuses for men. It’s time we change that And educate our children!
First off, the “friendzone”. It’s not real. It doesn’t exist. It’s bull! If a girl has a crush and her crush doesn’t like her back, we don’t excuse it as the “friendzone“! YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO GIVE YOUR GUY “FRIENDS” A CHANCE, ever. Period. Imagine how we feel as the girls, knowing our “friend” was never a friend anyways, and just wanted to sleep with us? Your female friend not liking you back isn’t making you a victim in any way whatsoever. But you turning around and treating her badly or talking badly about her, pretending you’re a victim, because she didn’t give you a chance, makes her a victim! It’s honestly disgusting that this has even become a term. Men, you’re not a victim. Grow up.
And now, “blue balls”.
This is beyond an excuse. YOU CANNOT GET BLUE BALLS FROM BEING “TURNED ON“ AND NOT FINISHING! That is an absurd, pathetic excuse to try and get someone to have sex with you. And you know what that is, pressuring someone into sex? Coerced sex! In other words, RAPE! Blue balls occur when there has been a legitimate injury to the testicles. That is the only time blue balls occur. They get smashed, twisted, etc. You can not possibly ever get an injury from not “finishing” after arousal. Ever. Period, end of story. And lying to a girl to convince her to have sex with you, is a form of rape. That’s all. I know far too many guys, specifically in high school, who tried to play that card. Teach your girls guys are full of sh*t! I sure will be!
I‘m beyond sick and tired of all the excuses men are given for their actions. It’s time to call them out for what they’ve done, and call them out on their bull. No more allowing them to take advantage. Period, the end!
On that note, I have a story.
I had a friend, Cris, who became a friend of mine because he was close friends with my high school sweetheart (who I am no longer with, but friends with). I have another friend, Des, who I had been friends with since middle school. While I was dating my high school sweetheart, Cris mentioned Des was cute, so I had them meet/hooked them up. They started dating. I thought things were great. Turns out, they weren’t. My friend Des no longer wanted to talk to me or hang out with me. I didn’t know why. She got super jealous and weird when Cris and I hung out. Turned out, Cris had a major crush on me and had the entire time. Over time, things got bad. He repeatedly told me he loved me. He was still with Des. He said he wanted to do things, like kiss me, etc. They were constantly fighting. I was not single for basically any period of time. I told Cris I didn’t like him back and he needed to be honest with Des about everything, because it wasn’t right. Des acted like this was all somehow my fault and my doing. We stopped being friends, and she cried when she saw me at the store. I literally waved hi to her and had no idea why she was acting that way. A while later, the guy I was dating at the time (not my high school sweetheart), died. I was devastated and in shock. Cris worked close to where I lived, so when he heard, he started coming over during his lunch. He would bring me sonic ice cream. By this time, I thought he was over me. He and Des were expecting a baby. He wasn’t. One day he showed up, and he just started ranting about wanting to kiss me. I said, “please don‘t”, and reminded him he was expecting a baby with Des. I was grieving my dead boyfriend, and really didn’t need that Drama. But, he shoved me hard against the wall, partially picking me up, slammed his body against mine, and kissed me. I shoved him away and told him he needed to leave. He tried to kiss me again. I walked outside by his car so he would follow and go. When he got back towards me, he grabbed me again. I told him he had to go and I walked inside. A little while later, he called me, crying, saying he was sorry. I told him we could no longer be friends and hung up. I mean, he sexually assaulted me while I was grieving a death of a romantic partner. Shortly after this, I saw messages between Cris and an abusive ex of mine, where they were talking badly about me. I screenshot everything from those messages as well as all the messages Cris had sent me, and I sent them to Des. I told her exactly what he did, how he sexually assaulted me, and how he’d been declaring his love for me for years (with screenshots for proof). I told her I’m sorry she has to go through that, and that I hope she finds happiness away from that. I then blocked her, too. And guess what? They’re still together. They’re still dating, maybe married. They have kids. All I can say, is I hope they’re happy and he hasn’t sexually assaulted anyone else. I lost two friends and gained trauma from the experience. So the least I can hope, is they found happiness with each other.
And that, my friends, is the kind of bullsh*t us girls have to deal with regularly. So, let’s be done allowing these abusive, repulsive behaviors from straight men. It’s time to start protecting and educations one another.
Have a wonderful day, y’all.
P.S., Stay safe.
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